Crazy Jokes

Dead Ant

Q:What did the elephant say when it saw a dead ant? A: DEAD ANT, DEAD ANT, DEAD ANT……. Q: What did the elephant say when it saw a live ant? A: It stepped on the ant and then said DEAD ANT, DEAD ANT….

Steven Wright on dogs

The other day, I was walking my dog around my building…on the ledge. Some people are afraid of heights. Not me, I’m afraid of widths.I had a dog once. I spilled spot remover on him, and now he’s gone.I put contact lenses in my dog’s eyes. They had little pictures of cats on them. Then I took one out and he ran around in circles.I bought a dog the other day… I named him Stay. It’s fun to call him… “Come here, Stay! Come here, Stay!” He went insane. Now he just ignores me and keeps typing. He’s an East German Shepherd.